(gently) At the moment, no. But it doesn’t look good. Of course, I do. Very much. But she asked me to leave, and I had to respect her position on the matter. (long pause) No. Obviously, we had to make certain sacrifices as a result of having children, but no. Lord, no. (sadly) I don’t really know any more. Maybe I wasn’t as true to her as I could’ve been. Let’s not rehash it, Chassie. Thanks, Pagoda. Hold it, Chassie. (hesitates) There are no teams. This is my adopted daughter, Margot Tenenbaum. Vamanos! Andale! It didn’t seem believable to me. Why are you wearing pajamas? Do you live here? What characters? It was just a bunch of little kids dressed in animal costumes. Sweetie. Don’t get mad. That’s just one man’s opinion. What about Sing-Sang? I owe her a hundred. Thanks, Dusty. Who is it? I’ll take it in there. What do you got? (quietly) No shit? And what’d Ethel say? I don’t like the sound of this one damn bit, Pagoda. I mean, Lord knows I’ve had my share of infidelities. But she’s still my wife. (pause) And no goddamn two-bit chartered accountant’s going to change that. What kind of side effects can be expected? You mean like flopping around on the floor and everything? You got a minute? I need a favor. I want to spend some time with you and the children. Now, hold on, dammit. I want my family back. I’m dying, baby. I’m sick as a dog. I’ll be dead in six weeks. I’m dying. Take it easy, Ethel. Hold on. Hold on. Wait a second. Listen. I’m not dying. But I need some time. A month. Maybe two. I want us to -- Ethel. Baby. I am dying. (pause) Dying? Yes. OK. I’ve missed the hell out of you, my darlings. You know that, don’t you? So they tell me. (shrugs) I had a good run. Thank you. I’ve got a pretty bad case of cancer. Not long. About six weeks. But let me get to the point here. The three of you and your mother are all I’ve got, and I love you more than anything. Let me finish. Now, I’ve got six weeks to set things right with you, and I aim to do it. Will you give me a chance? Do you speak for everyone? Well, you’ve made your views known. So why don’t you let somebody else do some of the talking now? Well, I can’t say, really. Make up for lost time, I suppose. But the first thing I’d like to do is take you to see your grandmother, at some point. Well, she wasn’t your real grandmother, so I didn’t know you’d be interested, sweetie. Anyway, you’re invited this time. (pause) Who? Oh. That’s right, isn’t it? Well, we can swing by her grave, too. I’ll be right back. May I see my grandsons? Because I’d like to finally meet them. Don’t give me that guff. Pagoda! Where’s my javelina? I’ll say goodnight to you now, children. Thank you, my sweet boy. I’ll contact you in the next twelve hours and give you further instructions. Look at that old grizzly bear. Hello, Ethel! Good evening, sir. Hold the cab, please, driver. Hey, man. Lay it on me. (shrugs) Ah, what can I say? I’m dying. I’m just kidding. Goodnight all. That’s a hell of an old hound dog you got there. What’s he go by? (pointing at Buckley) Buckley. Sit. You know who I am? I’m Royal. You heard of me? I’m very sorry for your loss. Your mother was a terribly attractive woman. Which one are you? (looks to Uzi) Uzi, I’m your granddad. I’m sorry we haven’t gotten to know each other. I don’t get invited around much. What do you think about that, by the way? You don’t have to say anything. Kind of a fuck-you to the old man, I guess. How’s your daddy? You think so? How often’s he got you working out? (shakes his head) Do me a favor. Tell him you want to meet me. No, we didn’t. Look. I want us to have a relationship, but we’re going to have to pull some strings to make that happen. (pause) Here’s what you tell him... She was a tough old broad, wasn’t she? Oh, that’s right. We got another body buried out here. Hang on. Take some of these. What do you think of this big old black buck moving in up there? Henry Sherman. You know him? Is he worth a damn? That’s a hell of a damn grave. I wish it were mine. It’s a shame, isn’t it? You probably had another good two to three years of competitive play in you. I had a lot riding on that match, you know. Financially and personally. Why’d you choke out there that day, Baumer? I kind of disappeared after that, didn’t I? You still got that little BB in your hand, Chassie? It was the object of the game, wasn’t it? Were we? Well, you sued me. Twice. And got me disbarred. But I don’t hold it against you, do I? Objection, your honor. Now, dammit -- You think you could start forgiving me? Because you’re hurting me. Kind of. Minimum security. I got jacked by the IRS. Should we split? Call me Mr. Tenenbaum. I’m kidding. Call me Pappy. Come on! Let’s shag ass! Where’re my encyclopedias? (shaking his head) Damn you. You’re taking my encyclopedias. This is humiliating. Where am I supposed to go? You’re turning me into a goddamn hobo. You son of a bitch. Hello, Dusty. Spot me a quarter, will you? Richie? It’s your dad. All right. Let me just collect my things. Would you mind handing me my cane, Richie? Let’s see, now. Where’s my suitcase? Grab me a Nembutal, son. Fuck do you care? Pagoda. Call Dr. McClure. Pagoda is in possession of a parcel that contains my will and some instructions regarding the funeral, including my epitaph, for when the time comes. Proof-read it for me before they carve it on the headstone, OK? I never did stop loving you, by the way. Do you believe that? You look terrific. That dress is stunning. I was going to read for a little bit, Chas. I’m in the middle of a sentence. Goodnight, m’boy. What’s that jackass doing here? I know you, asshole! I don’t like the way you’re treating Raleigh. I’ve met him. And I don’t think he deserves -- You’re two-timing him with that bloodsucker Eli Cash. It’s not right, dammit. You used to be a genius. (hesitates) Well, anyway, that’s what they used to say. Let’s go down to Little Tokyo and get some firecrackers. (hesitates) Nothing. You got them crunching numbers for you, huh? Chassie’s got those boys cooped up like a pair of jackrabbits, Ethel. I know it. But you can’t raise boys to be scared of life. You got to brew some recklessness into them. (pause) No, you don’t. I’m not talking about dance lessons. I’m talking about putting a brick through the other guy’s windshield. I’m talking about taking it out and chopping it up. (indicating Pagoda) He saved my life, you know. Thirty years ago. I was knifed at a bazaar in Calcutta, and he carried me to the hospital on his back. He did. There was a price on my head, and he was a hired assassin. Stuck me in the gut with a shiv. Just stepped out to get some air. How’s the -- Holy shit. That’s not -- What is that? No. That’s dog’s blood. (looking around) My God. I haven’t been in here in years. Yes, I am. And I think you’re having a nervous breakdown. I don’t believe you’ve recovered from Rachael’s death. I think -- There you are. Oh, I’m having a ball. Scrapping and yelling. Mixing it up. Loving every minute with this damn crew. (sincerely) I’d like to thank you for raising our children, by the way. I’m not kidding. You always put them first, didn’t you? Goddammit, don’t do that to yourself. I’m the one who failed them. Or, anyway, it’s nobody’s fault. (pause) Plus, it doesn’t -- I don’t know, but I’m ashamed of myself. I’ll tell you one thing, though. You’ve got more grit, and fire, and guts than any bob-tailed fox I ever damn hunted, and if -- What? What’s so funny? No, tell me. (pause) I don’t know what you’re talking about. But I’ll take it as a compliment. You’re true blue, Ethel. You really are. How’s your love life? She said that? We got the sucker on the ropes. Can I ask you something? Are you trying to steal my woman? You heard me, Coltrane. What? No. No. But if I did? You wouldn’t be able to do anything about it, would you? No, I don’t. You want to talk some jive? I’ll talk some jive with you. I’ll talk some jive like you never heard! Right on! What? What’d you say? Oh, I heard you. I want you out of my house. Don’t play semantics with me. I want your raggedy ass back on the -- Nothing. Bullshit. Change it. You think we could get somebody to come over here and kill some of these mice for us? Well, tell him to stick them in a fucking cage or something. What’s cooking, Pops? Son of a bitch. What the hell kind of way to act is that? How would you know? I guess we’re back on the street, pal. Time to come clean. No more lies. A guy at St. Pete’s owed me a favor. I did some malpractice work for him. I do have high blood pressure, though. Look. I know I’m the bad guy on this one, but I just want to say that the last six days have been the best six days of, probably, my whole life. (pause) I thought maybe I could win you back. Or, anyway, I thought I could get rid of Henry and keep things status quo. I know. Plus, I was broke, and I got kicked out of my hotel. Take it easy on those boys, Chassie. I don’t want this to happen to you. You know, Richie, this illness, this closeness to death. It’s been very profound for me. I feel like a different person. I really do. (smiles) But I’m going to live. He’s not your father. How you doing, pal? Goddammit! That’s the last time I get knifed by you! You hear me? The 375th Street Y, please. Everyone’s against me. I know. But, dammit, I want to be loved by this family. How much money you got? (frowns) What do you mean? You’re broke? You got to be kidding me. How’re we supposed to pay for the damn room? All right. We’ll figure something out. Richie? Where’re you going? I have to say, he didn’t look half bad for a suicide. Attempted suicide, anyway. Thank you, sir. Going up? What floor? Yeah. We just started, but we’ll get a bump when we join the union. Well, we’re broke. But, in answer to your question, I guess I’m trying to prove I can pay my dues and what-not. I just hope somebody knows. Sure. Margot Tenenbaum? Since when? Does she know? And what’s her feeling about it? I can understand that. It’s probably illegal. (pause) That’s true. It’s still frowned upon, but then what isn’t these days, right? I don’t know. Maybe it works. Why not? Hell, you love each other, and nobody knows what’s going to happen, so -- You know what? Don’t listen to me. I never understood her, myself. I never understood any of us. I wish I knew what to tell you, but I just don’t. No, it’s not. Do you still consider me your father? I wish I had a little more to offer in that department. I don’t blame you, by the way. She’s a great looking girl, and she’s smart as a whip, and -- Holy shit. Jiminy Cricket. He must have a goddamn radar in his brain. What do you mean? He flew right in here. Well, the son of a bitch must be molting. (excitedly) You got it. What’s the situation? Hang on. Pagoda! Let’s hit it! Would you excuse us, please? Me, too. Me, too. I want to order some ice cream for my daughter, please. What would you like, Margot? Your brother’s all torn up inside. Can’t someone be a shit their whole life and want to repair the damage? I mean, I think people want to hear that. (pause) It’s a trick question. You don’t have one. (surprised) That was my mother’s name. Anybody feel like grabbing a couple of burgers and hitting the cemetery? I got you something, Ethel. Actually, I made it. A divorce. Yes. This is Sanchez. He’s a notary public. If you’ll just sign here, please, Ethel. And here. And initial here. You own this building, don’t you, Henry? It’s magnificent. I used to be a homeowner myself, but my son expropriated it from me. Here comes my bus. Thanks, Sanchez. Almost. Sanchez just has to file the papers. I love you, Etheline. And congratulations, both of you. I didn’t think so much of him at first, but now I get it. He’s everything I’m not. Take back Pagoda, will you? I got you some jawbreakers. Well, of course, I’m half Hebrew, but the children are three-quarters Mick- Catholic. (pause) I believe so. I really don’t know. Boys! They’re OK, Chas. It’s OK. They’re safe. I think we lost Buckley. Chas! Wait! Can I say something to you, Henry? I’ve been considered an asshole for about as long as I can remember. That’s just my style. But I’d feel pretty blue if I didn’t think you were going to forgive me. Well, I appreciate that. Can we get into your backyard, ma’am? We got a couple of boys out there. I think he’s part mutt. What kind of papers you got for him? Sparkplug. Sit. I got you a new dog for the boys. I just bought him. I’m sorry I let you down, Chas. All of you. I’ve been trying to make it up to you. (quietly) Sparkplug. You’re welcome. I know you have, Chassie. All right, boys. Say a prayer --